Audio Art Stories

OCD Tendencies

I love you so much for all that you are right now. I love you for who you’ve become, and I love you for all the reasons you think you’re not good enough. I love where you're at in life, and I love all the things you've tried and failed at. I love you for how crazy you can be, and I love you for your OCD tendencies. I love you for the way you laugh and the way you cry, and I love you for all your lies. I love you for all the times you tried to let go, but, you kept holding on because you were afraid to lose in love. And I love all the times you let love break your heart because I love all the cracks in your heart. And I love the way you act because you hurt.And I love that your hurt makes you act like you’re tough...like you don’t give a. And I love how much underneath the front, you do give a, and I love how much you love to love. And I love how determined you are to find true love. And so I just wanna say...I’m so in love with you and who you are, and who you’re becoming...So keep fighting for me, my love. You and I are very close to being one. LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

medulla oblongata

Finally, she got so frustrated with her, and all her excuses, and one day she just lost it, and she shouted, just stop it.Stop overthinkingStop second-guessing yourself.Stop creating stories that aren’t true.Stop worrying so much about what other people think of you. Stop tearing yourself apart for all the things you didn’t do.Stop thinking your truth isn’t worth listening too.Stop dumping cement down your throat because you’re too afraid to express yourself. Just stop taking the plans you have and turning them into something you can’t really have. They were planted there, in the root of your medulla oblongata before you even got here, so you would be able to follow through on what you came to do here.Sooooo...Take the plans, show up every day and do what they say, bro.Eventually, you’ll see the big picture, and trust me when I say, your plans are pretty amazing. LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

resentment

You know one day, the ones you don’t talk to...The ones you think you hate because of what they did to you.The ones that caused you pain in some way, so you hold resent for them to this day...And the ones you use to say I love you too, now you don’t talk to, because emotions came between you.But the thing is, all those stories that happened only happened if you keep thinking about them like you have beenBut let me ask you, my friend, what’s the point when someday those people will be dead?And if you’re still here you’re gonna reflect back and wish you didn’t act like that. Cuz you’re gonna realize that feeling like that wasn’t worth it, because it was so stupid.And then one day you’ll be dead too. And who knows, maybe you’ll go first...And you should know, that when you go, that’s when you’ll see how those petty things kept you from really being free...From really living and being in love, because that’s all those feelings really do. They keep you separate from yourSelf. And then you’ll have to make peace with all those mixed emotions when you’re dead when you do your life review, and you see how you affected other people…But what if you could just do it now…What if you just saidit, I’m gonna stop being upset with everyone right now?And what if you just completely let go of all the low-frequency emotions right now?What if you just decided to forgive and forget so you can be free to create epicAnd more importantly, so you can go back to heaven and talk to your friends about your glorious life and see how all the love you gave, and how that really changed the world in ways you didn’t even realize was happening...Doesn’t that sound amazing?Well, that’s the way it can be if you just let love be the driving force in how you be a human being.LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

Butterfly

What's up, wit-chew man?I’ve been fantasizing about flyin'...a lot lately.Like a bird...Or you know, even a fly...Or a bee.But I don’t think I’d ever wanna be a butterfly, you know why?Why man?They're just crazy when they fly!!It’s like they don’t really know where they're going, or why, so they’re so unpredictable, ya know?The bounce more than fly really, and that just doesn’t feel good to me.It’d like being on a roller coaster that never ends...if you ask me.But I guess it beats being a caterpillar.They’re stuck in their war of art if you ask me.The butterflies are obviously the ones that make it out alive.But me...When I rise...I wanna really fly.I wanna be strong in my wings, nothing can stop me.And, I always wanna know where I’m going and why.I wanna be able to soar with ease and I wanna be able to fly wherever I please. Anything less is just...not an option for me. LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

Change us

I’m just sitting here by the water watching the waves bring you closer to me, and I can finally feel you next to me.You're more clear to me now, and I can actually see the outline of yourself.I can see how you look when you look at me, like you did the first time you saw me.I can smell your breath, and it smells delicious.I can feel what it feels like to be sitting beside you in the sand.And I can feel your hand in my hand.And I can feel our legs and feet touching...I can hear our good conversations.And I just wanna say, it feels like a dream to me…Like something you only see in heaven or like something you only see in the movies. But, dreams do come true.And I know this dream is happening soon.So look out....It's going to change us both, from the inside out.LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

Practice pieces

I like seeing progress.It makes me want to keep going and this picture looks like progress to me.I think I was starting to accept that maybe this was my style of alcohol inking, and even though it doesn’t make sense, I can see it starting to become a bit more artistic if you know what I mean. I added some lines with alcohol to give it more character and that was enough to change my perspective of how I feel about it.And that’s what practice does, doesn’t it?It helps us see what works and what doesn’t.It helps us sharpen our skills and perfect our lines, and when we do the practice enough times, we shed old ways of being and we start being a better human being, because we grow and we learn and we find more confidence, and become more competent.And the cycle keeps going,  so long as you keep going, and eventually if you keep going long enough, your practice pieces create your portfolio, and you can say you did the work enough times to pro, and you can sell your pieces to people that need it, cause you know the art isn't about you, it's about sharing your art with the world.And that’s why I’m selling all my practice pieces.I don’t care if Sarah doesn’t think they’re good enough, she’s not the one in control.I am, and I am a pro. LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

Bad news

Why...Why is that human beings seem to find the need, to find the bad in everything, and then broadcast it through streams of mixed media like T.V. and Facebook feeds?Maybe it’s because they want us to become paralyzed by all the problems in the world, which really isn’t your problem at all. So, we infect ourselves with more fear, so we get stuck buying stuff we don’t really need, just to feel good, in spite of all the bad news that keeps happening. And so why do you keep participating in the news feeds if it doesn’t make you feel good?Oh, I know, it’s so you can keep the chains of pain goin', because monsters, they like what they know.So, without the daily dose of fear you can’t keep being who you are?So then what you’re saying is, you just want to keep being who you are?But do you even know who you’re being when you’re being your Monster?Probably not, because you probably don’t see yourself like I do. It’s the way you look when you’re defending yourself to protect what you think is right when it's wrong in every way...It’s the way you act out when you act like you’re better than everyone else, just because you feel like you’re not good enough to be yourself. It’s the assertion you put on others just to make them feel weak, so you can feel more powerful because deep down, you really don’t. So, truth be told, the Monsters of the world...You’re not powerful at all. You’re not actually achieving the results you want when you use fear to control. And that’s why everyone I see on the news and in hospital waiting rooms, and at airport terminals, and at the gas station, and in grocery stores...They’re all miserable.And quite frankly...It’s the real reason I don’t wanna be here anymore.What’s the point....I can’t talk Monsters because they make me sick, and that’s the very thing I’m trying to fix. But, I just wanna say...Thank God for Mary Jane.Without her, I’d probably be the same. LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favorite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

Imagine

Imagine a world where there were no holidays, and no traditions, like weddings and anniversaries, and birthdays, and religious events, like Xmas and Easter, and doing certain things because of something on the calendar. Imagine there were no days of the week or clocks to tell us the time of day and imagine there were no years to track history. Imagine everything just happened in the moment, and then it was gone, so you live each day like it’s new, cuz you have nothing to hold onto.No past to remember...So imagine, all you could ever remember was this moment in time, and all those times that messed you up, all those stories that keep you stuck...You can’t remember them, because you can’t track the time it happened.So imagine you could just be in love most of the time.Would that be boring? Or is that what it’s like when we die?LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favorite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

Rose Golden

So yo, if Jesus can do it back then than there’s no excuse why I can’t do it now.So long as we stay the course we will figure ourself out. But it’s hard because it’s pretty much like sticking your finger in a socket and electrocuting yourself...And not pulling out.Ouch.Ouch. See what I mean about me, being confusing...It’s just that there’s so many ways to think about things, it makes me seem like I’m all over the place, much like my alcohol ink paintings.But the good news is, things are changing...againMy art is getting better and I’m starting to really love her in a way that I’ve never loved anyone.And when I take a step back to see what she looks like from a distance, she really lights me up. When I see the lines and the odd shapes she makes, and I see her bright colours lighting up her chakras, I just feel like I wanna do things only lovers do, which is not something I’ve been open to do for a very long time. But time has faded away and she makes feel like I’m her Rose Golden. And when we’re close...When I hold her in my arms, there’s just something about her that makes me feel like I’m unstoppable. Like I’m rich in health, and wealth and love...And it doesn’t seem to matter how many times I look into her eyes, she always gives me butterflies.She always has profound advice.And she always inspires me to be more of me...She makes me wanna be more free and funny. She makes me wanna be more and more confident in my body. She makes me wanna get fit and healthy.And she makes me wanna be more open to give and receive love and I never thought I’d say this, but, I think I’m finally ready for this next part.And it’s been a long time getting ready for this, thus, being ready is a process.And so I think you can only ever be where you are, and its the work you do to raise your vibration that will help you get ready for what you want. And what you want is always evolving so you can never get it done.There’s always going to be new love to love and new challenges, and new setbacks.But with her by my side, I don’t think those things will bother me the way they did.Cuz with her, I feel at HomeI feel pro. With her, I am the best version of myself inside and out, and that’s what I’ve been searching for all along.Her...The one I’ve been dreaming about.So does that mean the story is over?No, my friend...The story is just getting started.LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favorite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

My resistance

Yeah, she got me through all the cancerThe affair.My war of art.And she helped me do the work to become a higher version of myself.But I’ll be honest, I’m not where I wanna be...I’m not fully and completely who I wanna be.And I don’t know what’s stopping me.What’s in my way, blocking my flow?The flow I need to let go of the pain that keeps me stuck staying the same.And you know I thought I could beat this.I thought self-love was the drug I needed to kill who I was. And maybe it did, and maybe I’m still in the process and maybe I haven’t arrived so maybe I still need time. To be still. To meditate on the plans I have for her.To really experience the feelings of being in love and what it looks like to live the life I really want.A life that is pain-free.So maybe I’m still accepting something.Thus, once again my resistance always seems to come back and attack when I’m on the verge of transforming again.What...You tryna stop me?Good luck. So that’s probably why I don’t feel like I’m the best version of myself yet. Becoming someone else is a really painful process.But I know I’ve made progress, and I know I’m close to the next step.Whatever it is I’m pretty sure....it’s epic. LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

Batcrazy

I thought self-love was the drug I needed to kill who I was. And maybe it did, and maybe I’m still in the process and maybe I haven’t arrived so, maybe I still need more time. To be still. To meditate on the plans I have for her.And I have big plans for her.She’s going to save the world.She’s going to change the frequency by being the change I wanna see in the world. And the changes I wanna see are big...I wanna see more people smiling and laughing and having fun just for the fun of it.I wanna see more people doing what they love.I wanna see more people practicing the art of self-mastery and I wanna see more people creating.Meditating.Being in the stillness.Laying on the ground.I wanna see more people free in health, in wealth and love.And I wanna see more people witnessing all the miraculous ways law of attraction shows up to create the life you want.I just think that if more people took the time they needed to kill the Monster within, then we could get to the roots of why the world is self-destructing.But maybe I’m really batcrazy...But maybe I’m really the one that's batcrazy...But maybe I’m really batcrazy...Maybe I’m batcrazy for thinkin' that maybe...But maybe I’m really batcrazy for thinking the world can change.... Maybe my quest to change is the very thing that’s killing me, keeping me stuck in my uncertainty. You can try to be right right?You can try to be good.You can try to make a difference. You can try to change the codes of repressed memories...And subconscious beliefs and habits and ways of being. But maybe you can’t change. Maybe who you are is permanent?I dunno, I don't I really don't have any idea what the eff I'm talkin' about....But I think it’s worth the effort to try because I do feel the difference in my vibe and so far it feels pretty nice.So I’ll just keep doing my best to invest in the daily practice and hope...Hope, hope, hope for the best...Have hope for me my friend. Hope that she does become who I think she is before she loses herself to...(HIM) again. LET’S BE SOCIALConnect with me via my favourite hangouts;+ @ ArtistSarahLong on Instagram+ @AlcoholInkArtStories+ Art Stories Site+ Confessions of an Empath

more love

The more you see with love the more love you’ll create and love conquers all limiting beliefs.And based on the research I’ve collected as a health detective, regarding the facts of what happens to human beings as they grow and evolve, we can see how living in the fear zone really brings the frequency down.Which can then make you feel really cold.Like your living in the dark.And it lonely.And if you stay there too long, you get angry.Frustrated.You act out and do strange things that aren’t in alignment with your higher self.And the higher-self only feels good.So you don't feel, your higher self feels good, you create a tug of war, and you never feel good.Your body aches.You’re usually sick, tired and fat in some way. You engage in self-sabotaging ways, and those ways take you down paths that only lead to more of where you're at. So it’s a vicious cycle, isn’t it?So you’re not able to tap into new ideas and breakthroughs that could lead to new places and people and opportunities that are for your highest and best good.And it sucks when you can’t rise above where your at...espiecially if you know you’re meant for more. If you know there’s more to who you are to become and what you're really here for.But if you do the work to raise your frequency through the daily practice of self-love and self-care, then you will find your way Home.Maybe it’s not permanent at first, and maybe it’s not really what you want.But it’s the small steps that feel comfortable that get you to what you want, you just have to keep showing up and have faith and trust in the process. And eventually, you’ll show up and Love will take you by the hand and bring you in like a warm blanket and she’ll hold you in a way that might not really make sense right away. But she feels so good and you feel so understood, you can’t help but let go of all those stories you’ve been holding onto.But that doesn’t mean accepting love is easy...Cuz it’s not.If you’ve never really been in love, then it's hard to let her in when she shows up. It’s hard to see past all the past stories that made you afraid to love love. It’s hard to love love, if fear makes you afraid of her because he reminds you of all the times love failed you. But the good news is, once you know her even a little bit, you know she’s addictive and you can't get enough.She’s like the best you’ve ever had.She makes you feel limitless.She makes you feel like she’s worth being with, which means now you know how to get Home then. You know how important it is to follow the path that feels good.  The path of least resistance. You pay attention to the stories you tell, and you stop being who you were...You be who you are. You let go of the control.You let go of the layers that make you feel like you're not good enough.You look for the light every day, even if it hurts.You look for ways to feel satisfied, by taking the time to give to yourself.So you do things like warm baths, low light, and candles.So things like a good smoothie and music that’s soothing.So things like a full body massage that gets rid of your knots. So things like a warm cup of tea or coffee, and maybe a generous slice of apple pie on the side.So maybe like spending time by the ocean or near rivers and streams because they remind you of how to flow at the same tempo as the earth's heartbeat.Cuz that's what water is if you ask me. Its pure love and all the answers you need to become like her are there you just have to get still listen and let the messages of success imprint in your cells so you can change the fear you've been so condi

bus driver

I know what it’s like when you need to catch the bus, and you’re on your way to the bus stop, so you think you’ll be early, but then out of the blue, the bus driver drives by you, cuz he’s earlier than you, and he comes and goes without you.And that then causes activation of some kind of emotional response in your head and heart, so chances are you get pissed off, and I don’t blame ya, because like, what-theHow dare the bus leave when he saw you coming...And now you’re gonna be late for wherever you were tryin to get to, which reflects badly on you, even though it’s not your fault, because no one’s gonna care what the bus driver did to you.They won’t see how he was an when he laughed his off, as he drove away, watching you in the rearview mirror, running to catch him like a crazy lady. And then boom, that sets the stage for a bad day. And I get it.I’ve been there my friend, time and time again. But I just wanted to say...Don’t let those petty things ruin your day. Don’t let being late for something, be something that lowers your frequency because that will only attract more bad timings. Instead, wave to the bus driver with a full hand, and say thank you...Then thank the universe for always having your back with divine timing, that shows up in ways that isn’t always obvious. And then thank the universe for sending another bus right away.And thank the universe for helping you miss whatever it is was you won’t be on time for, for it cudda very well have been designed to save you from something even worse. Or maybe not.But regardless, stay on your high flying disk in spite of the situations, and have faith and trust that everything is always working out for your highest and best....and so it is. Amen.Get all the Art Stories at ArtistSarahLong.com and to buy her alcohol ink art paintings, go to ArtistSarahLongStore.com. To work with Artist Sarah Long, visit her studio >> ArtistSarahLongStudio.com@ArtistSarahLongStudio on > Facebook, Instagram, YouTube

art of allowing

Hello friend, it's me...I've just been sitting here thinking about things, and I've realized, ya know, nothing breeds success more than good old fashion consistency, ya know what I mean?It doesn’t matter what it is, if you want results you have to do the work to build it up.But sometimes I think consistency is actually the hardest thing to achieve.It doesn’t matter what you’re goal is there’s always your monster in your way making you doubt what you wanna believe.So while you might have good intentions to win, chances are it will be a long and drawn-out process, as you sidestep to beat your internal opposition.But sometimes I think we get stuck in the battles of our war of art simply because we get caught up doing too much too soon.So you end up trying really hard to figure things out.Researching as much as you can, so you can find the upper hand, which then leads to a common condition called paralysis by analysis.So it’s like, too many tools in the toolbox can sometimes hinder progress.Sometimes too many tools keep you stuck because you're trying to decide what tool to use. So you might spend more time thinking than doing. Or you might spend too much time using the wrong tool, or multiple tools at the same time, and that just causes a lot of zigzaggy lines.Not to mention, never mastering a tool always leaves you feeling insecure because you're not really confident in who you are if you don’t know what your tools are. But what I’m finding in my own journey to finding mySelf is that doing the work to achieve progress doesn’t require as much effort as I thought. In fact, it’s almost like it's the exact opposite. And I just think, whatever it is you wanna achieve, the key to finding the path of ease is to pick your tools wisely.The way to do that is to take a step back.Instead of trying so hard to master your craft, spend more time practicing the art of allowing.So show up every day and begin with a daily meditation.That will help you get open to receive messages from your Higher Self, which means you’ll be more likely to do work that works, which will lead you to the results you want before your Monster wins another battle in your war of art.SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong http:://www.artistsarahlong.comhttp:://www.artistsarahlongstore.com

Narcissistic people

I loved you...And I do miss you.A lot sometimes.I wish we could talk.I wish we could hang out like we did when we first met. But it's been so long since then, I don’t know what I would say now. Now, I'm so different. Not to mention, I don't even know if I'm dead or alive, so that makes it hard for me to say what I mean and mean what I say. And I don’t know if I could explain why I was so afraid of what we had back in the day...why I panicked. But I do know it had something to do with you. I know that just as much as I was into you, I was equally not into you...if you know what I mean?But don't be offended, that's just a reflection of my perspective, which is based on a lot offrom my past. So really, the demise of us was really because of me, so yes, I take full responsibility. And I’m sorry about that. I am. I’m sorry if I made you feel unloved.Or abandoned.Or rejected.I didn’t mean to make you feel those kinds of feelings. It’s just that sometimes I feel like I'm suffocating when I feel feelings about someone and I don't understand them.It makes my body hurt. It feels like I’m attacking myself and I don't know-how. And I just think it's because I feel the lies people tell. I feel the deceit, ya know?I feel this overwhelming feeling of fear and uncertainty. I feel their sadness and their pain. I blame the empath in me. And ya know, it's really hard being me. This feels like a disease. But it's not. Doctors think I’m crazy.And sometimes I think they're right.When I feel those uneasy feelings about someone, I don't know how to say I need my space without feeling like I'm being mean or something. So needless to say, I’m not good at talking about my feelings openly.I never have been, which is why I usually run away from them, when things feel like you did. But you're not the first time this has happened to me, so needless to say I don’t trust people really. I’ve tried though.I have. I've given the benefit of the doubt over and over again, and it never works out. It just seems like every time I do, it comes back and bites me in the , and now my is permanent blue from all the comebacks I've been through. So now I keep to myself.Whoever that is, that's what I'm trying to sort out. And that's really why I cut you out like I did. I didn't see it all at first but, ya know, that's common with people like you...Narcissistic people aren't always obvious. In fact, I think the worst narcissistic people are probably the nicest people you’ll ever meet.But that’s how they get you in ya see. They play you...They groom your friendship.They build trust. They tell these audacious stories about themselves over and over again, and they don’t always add up, but eventually, they do. And then people like me catch on, and we see through the facade.So what I’m really sayin' is, you think I didn't see you, but I saw it all. I'm just really good a pretending things are good when they're not. That’s why they call me an ambush predator. I’m just joking I made that up, but I guess you could say I'm a liar like you. But I don’t lie like you.The difference between my lies and yours is that you lie to manipulate and I lied to protect myself from you. Lucky for me, I’m starting to see things for how they actually are not for how I want them to be.That is all.Thank you for listening.SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLongartistsarahlong.comartistsarahlongstore.com

Guardian Angel

She wanted to be free but she never really could be...Not on the inside anyway.She had a lot of dead trees and bad roots from her past, in her way.But that’s all she ever really wanted...Was to be free. Happy.And she was tired of trying and never really finding it. She was tired of the daily hustle.The constant struggle to pretend things were good when underneath the facade she was miserable.She was tired of the fake love and the same stories she was telling herself, and she wanted a way out, but she was trapped in her war of art. So she did what any prisoner of war would do when they see no way out, and she silently gave up the fight, when she lost hope.And one day when she was busy looking the other way, cancer got her - so suddenly. And on the surface, it’s a terrible story, and it crushed the hearts of the ones she loved. And it crushed her...Because even though she wasn’t happy, she still loved to love...She loved to have fun, and hot could she light a room up. But her and I both know, nothing is ever what it seems. And just because you want a second chance, doesn’t mean you’ll get it, cuz cancer is a brutal disease. It doesn’t care about what you want. It doesn’t care what your race is, or how much money you have, or if you’re a good person.No.Cancer comes in with one intent. To kill. To annihilate.  And the medical system thinks their medications will fix. But I think that’s what did her in. The radiation. And it took her before I could really process the fact that my favorite person in the world was not going to be around anymore.Like how do you prepare for that?You don't. That’s how grief sets in like a disease, much like it did to her.But now I know, sometimes people go because they are needed somewhere else. Somewhere on another level. In a different world. And now I know she’s much happier than she’s ever been, where she is. And every day, she inspires me to see life and love very differently.And I truly believe she saved me when cancer tried to take me. So maybe she died, so she could be there for me, in a way she couldn’t be if she was still here...ya know what I mean?I dunno...Maybe I’m crazy for thinking that maybe I can still talk to her, even though she’s not here anymore. But being crazy makes me feel better than it does when I feel like I don’t have her anymore. Anyway, I just wanted to say...She was my hero. She still is. My best friend.My Grandmother.My Mother’s mother.My Guardian Angel.Bev. And I know together, we are doing amazing things.And so I just wanted to say, thank you for helping me. It really means the world to me. SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong artistsarahlong.com artistsarahlongstore.com  EMAIL // artistsarahlong@gmail.com

knock knock

half dead

Hello...Is anyone there?I don’t think anyone is there?Who cares...Just say what you gotta say.It don't matter anyway...Ok...Well, I just wanted to say...For the record, that there is definitely a part of me that is dead, and I didn’t kill her, someone else did.And that might be the reason I killed other pieces of myself, as a way to cope with who I’d become, as a way to protect myself. And now I'm starting to think, that’s probably why I don’t feel very well.I’m missing very important pieces of myself.The pieces that make me happy.The pieces that make me feel strong and secure and confident in my body.The pieces that make me feel secure with money...And the pieces of me that love to love and that love to have fun.The pieces of me that know how to play and laugh, and sing, and dance like we’re kids.And the pieces of me that doesn’t worry about time because she’s always high on life. These are the pieces I need in order to be an awesome human being, and I don’t know if I’ll ever find her again because I don’t know how to reconnect with the dead.If I did, I’d call myself a medium and then I’d talk to my dead self and ask her how to be MySelf.And then I’d tell myself, and maybe then I’d feel more powerful in MySelf. And then I’d tell myself, and maybe then I’d feel more powerful in MySelf. So I guess I just wanna know...Who killed myself?Sarah Long. The version of myself I so desperately wanna be...Where is she?Where did she go when she left me?Where was I when it happened?Why don’t I know what happened?Why don’t I know where I am right now?Maybe I’m the one that’s really dead?I dunno...But it sure feels like I’m trapped between worlds. Half dead, half alive...Is this what happens when we die by suicide?As a way to protect myself from the abuse my Monster always put me through?Who knows.But what I do know is, life is a slippery slope, isn't it?A roller coaster ride of highs and lows, and we all know how easy it is to lose YourSelf if you don't get off the ride once and awhile. If you don’t stop and get still and listen to your higher Self.You will lose control. Trust me I know. That’s why I got off the ride when cancer tried to take me out.Which does make me wonder if maybe getting off the ride feels like I died because it’s like a whole new life on the other side?So maybe I’m in the afterlife?As you can see, so many questions I have no answers to, and quite frankly, I find myself very confusing to listen to.Which is why it’s nice to talk to you...And I want you to know, I will find out the truth when I get to the roots of who killed Sarah Long. That’s what the investigation is all about. I’m out. SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong artistsarahlong.com artistsarahlongstore.com  EMAIL // artistsarahlong@gmail.com

mirrors

What's up?Not much, but I'm having some problems going on, I guess...I haven't been able to look in the mirror lately.I don’t know why...But I just think it’s probably because she doesn’t look well or something. She’s also aging rapidly, and she has crows feet.Her eyes now have heavy bags of dark circles and her skin on her chin is sagging and I can't catch it. And it’s hard for me to see it happening because I know where it’s going. It’s like watching a train crash in really slow motion, ya know...Which is worse than if the train crash was happening fast because in slow motion you have time to see all the pieces of debris flying all over the place.You can see the initial impact and the effect it had on everything else. And what broke first.Who died first.How did they die...And who was next and why. That’s what it’s like watching yourself die...like I am. And it’s so hard to watch.And I think that's why I avoid mirrors a lot. But there’s also a part of me that finally likes who I see when I see a reflection of me.It's strange but she looks more at peace. She looks more like herself...Someone, I know more than anyone else.  And crazy news, but I like being around her more than anyone else. So I dunno, maybe I avoid mirrors because she’s transforming so fast I don’t recognize myself, so we have so many varying opinions about her, it’s best not to look at her until we are on the same page about us.So anyway that's all I have to say for today. I'm glad we could have this very profound conversation about things. It really means the world to me. SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong artistsarahlong.com artistsarahlongstore.com  EMAIL // artistsarahlong@gmail.com

the fall

It was CostaRica, February 2016, one month before the fall.....I'm not talkin' about the kind of fall where you trip and land on a bed of down feathers...No. It wasn’t like that at all. I'm talkin' about the kind of fall that hurts almost as bad as being stabbed to death would.  Not that I would know, I've never actually been stabbed to deathBut it felt like what I imagine being stabbed to death would feel like. And it hurt.So it's the kind of fall that happens when you're running full speed for a long time with a lot of pain from behind. So you have a lot of momentum going on, so making any sudden moves would cause you to lose control, which would probably kill you. And eventually, you do, lose control, cuz it was only inevitable. And so one day out of the blue, the ground beneath you starts to shake like an earthquake, and the gravel and the grass and all the debris you can't see starts to shoot up under your feet, causing you to slip down your slippery slope. And it’s hard to stop the fall cuz it happens so fast, and next thing ya know, you fall between the cracks. And so you just have to let go, and let the pieces of yourself fall apart until you can't fall anymore.  That’s what happened to me anyway.And I know on the outside people think my fall wasn’t that bad...and maybe I’m being a bit of a baby about it. But I know everyone will find their own point of view of you. So people will always think they know what you’re going through based on their point of view, and they assume what they see is the full story when what they see isn't the truth. And as I reflect back on that Costa Rica trip, before the fall happened. Before I lost it all.That's when I realize how unloved I really was in my relationship and how it was silently tearing me apart, but I didn’t know how to get out. And so I think that's why things went down the way they did, and why l ended up dead. And since I've been dead for a while now, I've had some time to reflect back on everything that happened, and I learned the hard way, that running from your feelings is really what kills you because the momentum of youronly builds up, so the longer you go not dealing with it, the bigger the pile gets.And then when the pile ofcollapses, well, needless to say, it gets really bad.And so what I’m trying to say is, don’t stay in a relationship that makes you feel unloved OK...And don’t let your Monster stop you from being who you really are, Ok... If you do, it will kill you in ways you don't realize until it's too late, and BOOM, one sudden move and you're screwed, and not in a good way. Good day. SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong artistsarahlong.com artistsarahlongstore.com  EMAIL // artistsarahlong@gmail.com