the fall

It was CostaRica, February 2016, one month before the fall.....I'm not talkin' about the kind of fall where you trip and land on a bed of down feathers...No. It wasn’t like that at all. I'm talkin' about the kind of fall that hurts almost as bad as being stabbed to death would.  Not that I would know, I've never actually been stabbed to deathBut it felt like what I imagine being stabbed to death would feel like. And it hurt.So it's the kind of fall that happens when you're running full speed for a long time with a lot of pain from behind. So you have a lot of momentum going on, so making any sudden moves would cause you to lose control, which would probably kill you. And eventually, you do, lose control, cuz it was only inevitable. And so one day out of the blue, the ground beneath you starts to shake like an earthquake, and the gravel and the grass and all the debris you can't see starts to shoot up under your feet, causing you to slip down your slippery slope. And it’s hard to stop the fall cuz it happens so fast, and next thing ya know, you fall between the cracks. And so you just have to let go, and let the pieces of yourself fall apart until you can't fall anymore.  That’s what happened to me anyway.And I know on the outside people think my fall wasn’t that bad...and maybe I’m being a bit of a baby about it. But I know everyone will find their own point of view of you. So people will always think they know what you’re going through based on their point of view, and they assume what they see is the full story when what they see isn't the truth. And as I reflect back on that Costa Rica trip, before the fall happened. Before I lost it all.That's when I realize how unloved I really was in my relationship and how it was silently tearing me apart, but I didn’t know how to get out. And so I think that's why things went down the way they did, and why l ended up dead. And since I've been dead for a while now, I've had some time to reflect back on everything that happened, and I learned the hard way, that running from your feelings is really what kills you because the momentum of youronly builds up, so the longer you go not dealing with it, the bigger the pile gets.And then when the pile ofcollapses, well, needless to say, it gets really bad.And so what I’m trying to say is, don’t stay in a relationship that makes you feel unloved OK...And don’t let your Monster stop you from being who you really are, Ok... If you do, it will kill you in ways you don't realize until it's too late, and BOOM, one sudden move and you're screwed, and not in a good way. Good day. SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong artistsarahlong.com artistsarahlongstore.com  EMAIL // artistsarahlong@gmail.com