Guardian Angel

She wanted to be free but she never really could be...Not on the inside anyway.She had a lot of dead trees and bad roots from her past, in her way.But that’s all she ever really wanted...Was to be free. Happy.And she was tired of trying and never really finding it. She was tired of the daily hustle.The constant struggle to pretend things were good when underneath the facade she was miserable.She was tired of the fake love and the same stories she was telling herself, and she wanted a way out, but she was trapped in her war of art. So she did what any prisoner of war would do when they see no way out, and she silently gave up the fight, when she lost hope.And one day when she was busy looking the other way, cancer got her - so suddenly. And on the surface, it’s a terrible story, and it crushed the hearts of the ones she loved. And it crushed her...Because even though she wasn’t happy, she still loved to love...She loved to have fun, and hot could she light a room up. But her and I both know, nothing is ever what it seems. And just because you want a second chance, doesn’t mean you’ll get it, cuz cancer is a brutal disease. It doesn’t care about what you want. It doesn’t care what your race is, or how much money you have, or if you’re a good person.No.Cancer comes in with one intent. To kill. To annihilate.  And the medical system thinks their medications will fix. But I think that’s what did her in. The radiation. And it took her before I could really process the fact that my favorite person in the world was not going to be around anymore.Like how do you prepare for that?You don't. That’s how grief sets in like a disease, much like it did to her.But now I know, sometimes people go because they are needed somewhere else. Somewhere on another level. In a different world. And now I know she’s much happier than she’s ever been, where she is. And every day, she inspires me to see life and love very differently.And I truly believe she saved me when cancer tried to take me. So maybe she died, so she could be there for me, in a way she couldn’t be if she was still here...ya know what I mean?I dunno...Maybe I’m crazy for thinking that maybe I can still talk to her, even though she’s not here anymore. But being crazy makes me feel better than it does when I feel like I don’t have her anymore. Anyway, I just wanted to say...She was my hero. She still is. My best friend.My Grandmother.My Mother’s mother.My Guardian Angel.Bev. And I know together, we are doing amazing things.And so I just wanted to say, thank you for helping me. It really means the world to me. SOCIAL MEDIA // @ArtistSarahLong artistsarahlong.com artistsarahlongstore.com  EMAIL // artistsarahlong@gmail.com